I hate American singers
by SEAubrey
Summary: Six notes. That's all it took to transform Alfred into a pole-dancing bar girl. Songfic-ish, I guess? Contains: Miley Cyrus, a suggestion of USUK, and Francis being his usual French self. Human names used, if you can't figure that out already.


Disclaimer: I do not own _Hetalia_ or Miley Cyrus.

0o0o0o0

Suddenly, in the middle of a conversation with Arthur, six familiar notes rang out from Alfred's phone. And right on cue, he started singing. Alfred, that is, not Arthur.

"_Don't keep me waiting, anticipating,_

_Treating me like a fool._

_I got news for you:_

_I'm turning my back,_

_I'm dropping a bomb on you."_

"Alfre-" Arthur was almost treated to a finger shoved up in his nose due to the fact that Alfred's eyes were closed.

"_You want me, you need me,_

_Believe me, you'll be callin'._

_You love me, you hate me,_

_Believe me, you'll come crawlin'."_

Arthur sighed and let his face fall into his hand. Alfred's voice is far louder than the actual ringtone, and it has gotten everyone within hearing range's attention. Obviously, the American didn't notice this, and he started –to Arthur's horror- dancing.

"_So get down and get off,_

_Let me show you what you'll be missing._

_We break up, you break down,_

_Gonna drag you through this kicking and screaming."_

"_Angleterre_, is _Am__é__rique_ expressing his _l'amour_ to you?"

Arthur groaned. Just what he needed: Francis, out of all people, to be one of the first few to approach the pair. Too bad he's still too far away to hear the melody. And Alfred was still singing and dancing as if he has transformed into a pole-dancing bar girl.

"_Don't keep me guessing, I'm your favorite obsession,_

_Or give me the lame excuse._

_Is it me that you're messing?_

_It's that same old confession._

_You're the one with something to lose."_

At this point, Arthur's face started heating up. Because one: everyone is laughing and/or clapping along to the song. And two: those lyrics… Did the songwriter live in his brain?

_I hate American singers_, he thought.

"_Watch out now, don't back out._

_There's no doubt, you can't have it._

_Control you, I'll own you,_

_I'll show you, but you still can't have it."_

Now all the countries who know the song started singing along to the chorus. At this, Arthur groaned again, but louder, hoping that the idiot would hear it and get the message. Unfortunately, he didn't hear it, but someone else did. And that someone else got the wrong message.

"_Mon ami_, do you feel sexually aroused by _Am__é__rique's_ performance?" Francis asked, his arm sliding around his shoulder.

"Bugger off, bloody frog," Arthur growled, shaking off the shoulder.

Note that he did not answer the question.

_"So get down and get off,_

_Let me show you what you'll be missing._

_We break up, you break down,_

_Gonna drag you through this kicking and screaming._

_So get down and get off,_

_You're not the only one that I've been missing._

_We break up, you break down,_

_Gonna drag you through this kicking and screaming._

_You'll be kicking and screaming._

_You'll be kicking and screaming._

_But I'm so deceiving,_

_You'll be kicking and screaming."_

Arthur has had enough. The others started _dancing_ along, for goodness' sake. He started squeezing his way out through the crowd.

_"Watch out now, you'll find out._

_You'll cry out, 'There's no one above me.'_

_I play hard, don't run far,_

_Come back now, I really do like you…"_

_Wait, what?_

Arthur turned around just in time to catch Alfred winking at him, before finishing the song.

_"So get down and get off,_

_Let me show you what you'll be missing._

_We break up, you break down,_

_Gonna drag you through this kicking and screaming._

_So get down and get off,_

_You're not the only one that I've been missing._

_We break up, you break down,_

_Gonna drag you through this kicking and screaming_

You'll be kicking and screaming.

_You'll be kicking and screaming._

Kicking and screaming.

_Kicking and screaming…"_

Everyone applauded and Alfred bowed deeply, flipping open his cell phone before the song could replay. The crowd dispersed, whispering and giggling amongst themselves.

"Oh, look, Arthur," he said as the latter cautiously inched back to him, "it's a text message from Miley Cyrus. How much more of a coinky-dink can you get?" He chuckled at the _Hannah Montana_ reference.

Then he noticed the Brit's face.

"Are you alright, Iggy? Did you catch a cold again?" He asked, putting a hand to Arthur's forehead.

Arthur smacked his hand away, foolish for thinking that Alfred was implying something in the wink. "No, imbecile, I am quite alright. Which is more than what I can say for you. What in the world were you doing?"

Alfred blinked innocently. "Singing along to _'Kicking And Screaming'_. Miley herself sent it to me. Do you want it? I could Bluetooth-"

"No."

But he filed away the title in his head for later.

_Maybe American singers are not so bad after all._

0o0o0o0

A/N: When this song played on my phone (I had it on loudspeaker and on shuffle), I literally dropped everything I was doing at sang along, right at the exact moment the words were sung, surprising my whole family. It's amazing when you can unconsciously identify a song just by listening to the first six notes. Or just the first note. Which is what my sister can do with some of her Korean songs. Blast you, K-Pop!

Anyway, I had my finger up at that same moment Al had his finger up, but for unknown reasons for me. Reflex, maybe? Then this story popped into my head. Let's give a round of applause to sudden inspiration flashing out of nowhere! *applauses*

Review if you want Miley and Alfred to do a duo for her next single!


End file.
